What “Carrying Your Cross” Actually Means

He summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? What could one give in exchange for his life? Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this faithless and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.” Mark 8:34-38

I. Definition

The abovementioned passage from the Gospel of Mark tells us that what Jesus requires of us to truly be called His follower is to deny ourselves and take up our cross. But the real question is, “What does carrying our cross actually mean?” First, it could mean the most literal sense, most especially for the followers of Jesus at that time, as He Himself literally carried His very own cross and was crucified on it. Even St. Peter, the first pope whom Jesus entrusted the kingdom of Heaven to (Mt 16:18-19), and his brother who’s also one of twelve, St. Andrew, both died being hung upside-down on a cross themselves. But to really answer the question, it’s important to consider the reason behind their demise because there were many others, too, during that time who died by way of the cross as a punishment for the crimes they committed–as in the case of the two revolutionary thieves who hung alongside our Savior.

So what does carrying our cross actually mean? Does it mean undertaking terrible fates just to show Jesus we love Him–just like St. Peter, St. Andrew, and all the other apostles who died gruesome deaths to show their commitment to Christ? Does it mean being skinned alive or being guillotined like the other saints of old? Does it simply mean martyrdom? If we’re going to base it on the lives of the early Christians, that seems to be the case, as they followed the call of their Master to accept suffering and persecution to the point of losing their lives for the sake of the Gospel. Yes, carrying your cross means martyrdom; but at the same time, being a disciple of Jesus does not necessarily mean that you have to shed blood for the Faith or suffer horrendously as some saints had.

What “carrying your cross” means is simply faithfulness to Jesus Christ and His commandments out of love for Him. The apostles and many other saints may have been martyred, but that was because they were just being faithful to Christ even to the point of death. And some of them–the best of them–even asking God to give them suffering solely for the love of Christ.

II. Modern Day Cross-Carrying

Most of us Christians living today may never be in a position to encounter the kind of suffering that some saints and martyrs undertook in standing up for the Faith. Many of us may never, in our lifetime, shed blood for the sake of the Gospel (although, believe it or not, there are still some Christians in other parts of the world who go through this in our time now). For us modern-day disciples, carrying our cross after Christ is also a way of martyrdom–not the kind of martyrdom that our ancestors had but rather a “dry” kind martyrdom, which means being faithful to Him and His commandments in the midst of the normalcies and responsibilities of our daily lives (household, family, and work life), contradictions we experience as we profess our Faith (people who oppose what our Faith teaches), trials and tribulations we encounter (illnesses, losses, financial difficulties, etc.), and temptations the world and the Enemy throw at us.

Do you carry the cross of your duty as a spouse and parent? Do you even know what your duties are? For husbands and fathers, do you know that your primary duty is to lead your wife and children to Heaven–that is to know, love, serve, and be in communion with God? If you aim to be a good husband, do you then follow the admonition of St. Paul to love your wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25-30)? Do carry your cross of denying yourself and putting your wife’s needs and well-being first before you? Or do you treat your wife as maid and give her what’s left of you and not what’s best? Do you shower your wife with love and affection? Do you willfully take on the task of being the sole provider–and actually provide well–so that your wife can comfortably fulfill her natural obligation of raising and caring for her children? Do you carry the cross of resisting temptation to remain true to her? For wives and mothers, do you acknowledge your husband as the head and leader of the family? Do you carry the cross of trusting him, praying for him, and submitting to him despite his many failings (Eph 5:22-24)? Do you affirm and support him? Will you carry the cross of dropping your successful career to focus on raising your children well and be a full-time homemaker instead?

As baptized Catholics, do we carry the cross of evangelization? Or are we ashamed of our Faith? Do you “leave the boat” with what’s happening in the Church these days or do you carry the cross of loving the Church even when it hurts and praying for her? Do we stay true to the teachings of the Church regarding matters like marriage, divorce, abortion, and euthanasia? Do we carry the cross of risking our good names for the sake of the Gospel by at least telling people, in humility and charity, what’s right from wrong? I know it’s difficult, even I have a big problem with having to reprove someone. But if we can’t correct them, do we at least get on our knees and pray for them–to at least utter the words of our Savior, “Forgive them for they do not know what they do”? And when we pray for our neighbor’s conversion, do we accompany it with fasting? And do we pray for ourselves, too, to have the courage to continue to stand for the Truth, so that the next time we have to admonish a sinner, we may actually do so?

Do we get mad at God and lose hope when an unforeseen suffering befalls us? When He takes the life of someone we love? When He gives us an illness that seems to be unbearable? Or do we carry the cross of long-suffering and patient endurance, and trust in God that He’ll make everything work for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8:28)? Do we blame Him when our life is a mess–when, in fact, it was our fault to begin with? Or do we carry the cross of humility and repentance, seek His forgiveness, then trust that He’ll grant us the grace to turn misfortunes into opportunities of renewal–especially renewal of the heart?

Do we carry the cross of sharing with the wounds and burdens of our neighbor? Do we care for the poor and sick just as Jesus commanded us to do? If you are wealthy and able, do you carry the cross of living simply and sharing more of what you have to the poor so that they may just simply live? Do we carry the cross of treating our enemies with compassion and forgiveness–and even pray for them–for if we don’t, we then condemn ourselves when we pray the Our Father?

Do we get discouraged after falling into temptations, vices, sin–especially habitual sin– and disordered behaviors? Or do we carry the cross of our shame and guilt, and bring them to the foot of the cross over, and over, and over again, to be redeemed by Christ? Do we then continue to trust the grace that God gives us in confession? Do we choose to trust in God’s mercy even when all seems lost?

And in a world where more and more people deny the existence of God, do we carry the cross of striving to love God above all else and profess our faith in the face of opposition? Do we aim to love God with all our mind, heart, soul, and strength? Do we live by His decrees? Do we carry the cross of prioritizing Him and our spiritual well-being and not just praying some prayers here and there and attending Mass on Sundays? Do we repent of our transgressions and carry the cross of confessing our sins of commission and omission to the priest? And if carrying our cross means being faithful to Christ, how can we say that we’re actually faithful to Him when most of us don’t even know that He is fully present–Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity–in the Most Holy Eucharist that is being offered at Mass everyday around the world (John 6:51-59)? And if you’re not attending Mass, what makes you think you’re giving Him the right adoration, reverence, and worship that is due Him and His Holy Name?

Yes…it’s hard to be faithful. It’s hard to pick up our cross and follow after Christ. It’s haaaarrrdddd to be a Christian, let alone a Catholic Christian. But what do we do?

III. How To Better Carry Our Crosses

To better carry our crosses, first, we have to realize who we are, or should I say, Whose we are. And we are a people who belong to God, whom He created in His image and likeness. Through the Blood of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, we are saved; and through the Holy Spirit we have been made sons and daughters of the Most High in a spirit of adoption. So why wouldn’t we want to be faithful for the sake of the One Who made us? The One Who redeemed us with His Most Precious Blood? The One Who makes us heirs of the kingdom of God? Doesn’t this God, the Almighty, Ever-Living, Trinitarian God, deserve our submission? Our full cooperation in His plan and will? Do we even have to ask if He is deserving of our faithfulness?

Secondly, when our crosses have become too much to bear, we have to remind ourselves of Jesus‘ words and not listen to the lies of the Enemy. Didn’t He say that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life? That no one can come to the Father except through Him (John 14:6)? Therefore, to better carry our life’s crosses, we need only to go to Jesus. He will not only show us the way–as He showed us that He, too, carried His own cross–He is the Way Himself. Jesus also said, “Come to me, all you that labor, and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, because I am meek and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden light (Mt 11:28-30).” I honestly don’t know if there is anything more consoling than knowing that you have a God who actually wants you to cast your troubles–all of it, even the things you’re ashamed of–to Him.

Thirdly, as Catholic Christians, we have to remember that Jesus has established His Church by the hands of St. Peter, our first pope, and that the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it (Mt 16:13-19). And our Lord’s words are true! Hell will never prevail against the Church! If you say otherwise, you are calling God a liar. That is why we all need to draw closer to God through His Church and take advantage of the “weapons” the Church offers us: Confession, the Eucharist, and the Communion of Saints.

1. Confession — also known as the Sacrament of Reconciliation and Penance, is the first Sacrament that Jesus instituted to His apostles upon His resurrection (John 20:21-23). According to St. John (1 John 5:16), there are venial sins and then there are deadly sins, also known as mortal sins. You need confession for the latter to be forgiven and it is in the Absolution given by the priest where the Blood of Jesus can wash away your sins. If you have unconfessed mortal sins (there are 3 conditions for a sin to be mortal: grave matter, full knowledge that it is a grave matter, and deliberate consent), your soul is dead and when you die, you’ll be in Hell. If you haven’t been to confession for a long time, this is your sign. Let the Holy Spirit breathe in a new life unto you so that you may live in peace and be in a good disposition to receive Holy Communion. And even if you’re not in mortal sin, it still is a good practice to go to confession on a regular basis so that the Holy Spirit can perfect you.
2. Eucharist — When we receive the Eucharist, it is literally Jesus Himself that we take into us (John 6:51-59)! And when we’re in communion with Him, we can then truly say that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us (Phil 4:13)! We’ll then be able to carry our crosses confidently knowing that it’s God in us Who is doing the work! But before that can happen, we have to make sure we are in a State of Grace, otherwise, the penalty is eternal death or Hell, as it would mean receiving Christ sacrilegiously (1 Cor 11:27-29). That is why there is a great emphasis in the need for confession because we must be able to receive Christ in good conscience. Imagine inviting a royalty into your own home when it’s full of filth and stench, that’s what it’s like to receive Christ into your heart when you have unconfessed mortal sins–it’s embarrassing, to say the least. But again, what it really brings forth is eternal death and separation from God–which is the worst thing of all.
3. Communion of Saints — Everyone who dies in Christ lives with Him forever in Heaven. Therefore, we can always ask the saints in Heaven–the friends of Christ who lived and died for Him–to intercede for us in our needs and to help us grow in holiness. Learn to grow a devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, because Jesus never turns away from His Mother. Again, that’s why we put an emphasis in confession, because when you commit a mortal sin, you break your relationship with God and the Church. If you ever break a relationship with someone, how can that person ever help you?

Lastly, we must always hold this truth in our hearts that the cross is Jesus‘ greatest act of love for his Father in Heaven and humanity for it is through the cross that He fulfilled His Father‘s will and redeemed mankind from sin, Satan, and death. And since our sufferings, when offered up to God, fill up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ (Col 1:24), then like St. Paul, we must rejoice, too, that we are able to participate in God’s plan of redemption in the grand scheme of things! If we look at our sufferings from this perspective, they become meaningful and purposeful. In a sense, we have to thank God and be grateful to Him for the crosses that we carry because it is through our crosses that we are able to grow in love for the Father and our neighbor…and when we grow in love, we become more like Jesus. And isn’t that the goal of Christianity–to be like Jesus? So let’s carry our crosses and love as Jesus loves!