Let Go & Just Trust

Last month, on the 19th of January–The Feast of Santo Niño (a.k.a. the Infant Child Jesus)–I received an acknowledgment email from the Marians of the Immaculate Conception or MIC thanking me for having signed up to their newsletter. “Wait…did I?…” I don’t recall ever signing up to them as I honestly don’t like receiving newsletters. “Hmmm…I wonder whoever else knows of my email and signed me up? Do I have to change my password now? Or is this spam? Or did I actually sign up without even remembering?😂”

I then recalled that I had this conversation with my good Bible class friend, Georgia, just a few days prior about wanting to get hold of a copy of the entire Diary of St. Faustina. She then told me that she had signed up for the MIC’s newsletter and receives daily reflections taken from the Diary, and suggested that I just do same instead of reading the entire book. “Wait…did she now?…Ah whatever…it’s fine…I’ll just have it.”

Then, after an hour of receiving that email, I received a text from Georgia telling me that she had actually signed me up. Mystery solved! “Wow…so I guess we’ve taken our friendship to the next level where one just meddles with someone’s email…🙄😅” I thought. Joking aside, I didn’t mind that she had signed me up and I actually appreciate that she had done it, most especially because of what had happened afterwards…

During the evening of that same day, I went to attend the Sunday Mass in honor of the Feast of Santo Niño with my family. In my years of getting deeper into my faith, I’ve learned that you’ve got to give it all–everything that’s in your heart, most especially the things that are troubling you– to Jesus without any filter. Whatever is weighing heavy on your heart, you give it to Him as it is. If you’re mad, tell Him you’re mad. If you’re upset, show it to Him. If you’re ashamed of something, tell Him what it is, as it is. You have to be your most genuine self to God because that’s the only way He can heal you, and that’s the only way you can develop a relationship with Him–if you give Him the real you.

And that’s what I did during the Mass (and it’s been what I’ve been doing for the past few years since I’ve learned about this ‘being real’ thing). I don’t know…but as I’ve mentioned in my previous blog, there have been many things bugging me since last year. I just poured it all out to Jesus again…for the millionth time. “Why? What do I do? This really hurts. I’m confused…Can you please…Why is this always on my mind?” I was just desperately looking for answers.

Then at exactly 6:59pm just right after the Mass had finished, I checked my phone and there’s this email from the MIC; it’s the first Diary reflection I’ve received from them. The title says, “The Fruit of Begging.” Here’s the part of the reflection that really struck me:

“Then suddenly, I saw the Lord, who clasped me to His Heart and said to me, My Daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I will grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was filled with great joy, and my spirit, as usual, was drowned in Him as in its only treasure (Diary, 928).”

Wow…my eyes couldn’t believe it… God has answered me! But then again… doubts started to creep in…You see, I’m really not the most trusting person you’ll ever meet 😅. I tend to second-guess everything even if the answer seems obvious. I guess you can say it’s a coping mechanism; I just don’t want to expect things and get hurt in the long run. “Hmmm…could this message be Jesus’ consolation to my heart’s desolation? Could this be His clarity to my mind’s perplexity?”

Then God made me see it…Had not my friend, Georgia, signed me up on that day for the MIC newsletter, I wouldn’t have read that email at that very specific moment when my mind was so confused and my heart felt heavy. He reassured me that He had arranged it Himself for me to see that message at that very moment. It was the answer I had been badly seeking! I only needed to trust in Him fully!

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for consoling my heart. Thank You for the assurance You give me. You really do listen 🥰. If, You, oh Lord, had to become a child, rely on Mother Mary and Father St. Joseph for everything, and learn to surrender to Your Father‘s will and fully trust in His goodness, then please help me do the same. Señor Santo Niño, I pray to have that same childlike trust You possess. Teach me, oh Lord, to be like You. I love You.